Hello There, Awkward



It’s such a word that is loosely used to describe nowadays when someone is nerdy, clumsy, and can’t carry themselves well in public, complete with the image of a nerd you have in mind. Well, not all nerdy people look awkward. And not all awkward people are nerds. It’s just that we still have to learn how to deal gracefully with social situations, and you have to give us some time for it.


I’m always mistaken as a snob back in high school. Until now, I still am! That’s why some people would rather avoid me in the hallways rather than try to say “hi” to me. This is worse when you’re in the ladies’ room and this girl from class wouldn’t acknowledge your existence. It just so happens that I find her snobbish and she finds me the same. Anyway, we’re not really friends. Haha. I’d rather not waste time on people who wouldn’t say “hi” to me and think “they must really hate me.” Well, it’s not always about you. Who knows, they’re just as awkward as you are.


Those who know me well enough will admit that I’m not much of a snob, except that I’m the quiet type of person who doesn’t like calling attention to herself. I really don’t liked being noticed. And it’s kinda hard for me to open up to others. But when I do open up, it means that I’m comfortable with your presence. It means that you’re sincere in wanting to be friends with me and I acknowledge that. It’s not easy making friends, but I know how to spot a potential good friend. Thankfully, that led me to the really great people I’m friends with right now, even if they’re not that many.


By the way, introversion is still another thing. Awkward may be a part of it, but not all introverts are awkward. It means that yes, you can cope socially, but at the end of the day, you have to recharge yourself by being alone and having some quality “me-time”.


So let the awkward happen, because you learn from it. Time will come that you’ll be socially graceful.


P.S. This is why I liked Jennifer Lawrence.




Sweeter Than Fiction

I like reading books and going to different worlds even just for a while. I like getting in the character’s shoes, feeling all the emotions s/he goes through, and getting a deserved happy ending. This book-reading habit of mine is something I carried over to my teen years, and this led me to writing fan fiction and original stories as well. In my penned works, it’s always like this: the protagonist undergoes a hard time, but it all ended with getting love at the end and also a happy life.

But in real life, it’s not always a happy ending. It’s like problems and trials last longer than they should, and things don’t always go your way. Life can suck, but you know what? You have the power to create the life you want, even if it’s not always sunshine and rainbows all the time.

I listened to “Sweeter Than Fiction” by Taylor Swift, and the vibe of the song really went out to me. In a nutshell, you will encounter many obstacles, but you have it in you to overcome and succeed, along with the love and support of people around you.

I’ve always been an escapist, especially during my first year of college, that I didn’t went out that much and just cooped in my dorm room. College was a whole new world for me, and I couldn’t get past the feeling of leaving my comfort zone at home to embark on a new world. The first few months were harrowing for me. I didn’t had any friends and I thought people didn’t liked me. So I just studied, read books, wrote fanfics, and lived a boring life.

Until one day, I couldn’t take it anymore and I cried hard. My dorm mate saw me crying, and she went over to comfort me. She said she was also like that during her first year of college, until she realized what a sucky life she’s been living. So she joined a club, did the things she wants to do, and made friends along the way.

It took me a while to go out of my shell, but looking back now, I’m glad I made the efforts, no matter how awkward and painful it may seem. I’m now active in our writing guild and poetry club, and I now found a few friends whom I share my joys and trials with.

Sometimes, you just have to close the book and make your own life story. It’s good to read, but even better, it’s good that you can rewrite your own life story and make it sweeter than fiction.

P.S. Here’s the song, by the way.


The End Goal

not mine

This is the end goal of why we study so hard. So that we can graduate. And when we graduate, we can land a good job, have a good career, and possibly fulfill all our dreams in life.

I’ve always been the do-good type of student who wants to fulfill everything that’s expected of me. Especially now as a college student, that you’re always expected to keep up with the quota in your GPA so that you can maintain your standing. It was all about high grades and studying like a drone for me.

Until I realized that it’s not all to studying that I thought there was.

It’s not just about memorizing info. It’s not just about high grades. It’s also about what you’ve learned in the classroom and how you can apply that beyond the confines of your campus.

College has taught me that you just don’t study what you see in books. Sometimes, you just have to close the books and open your eyes to the things that you took for granted at first. No, I’m not telling you to just party and have fun. You study, but you also make it a point to enjoy the limited time you have in your uni and to open yourself to opportunities you never thought was there at first.

Last year meant changes for me. It was my first time to attend a summer music festival, my first time to attend an elective class I really like (Creative Writing), and most of all, my first time to organize a campus event in my organization. These things taught me that college isn’t just about studying hard, but also living life like any youth should.